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I Have The Hots for Jake Shears

Please note: Our inventory is limited as we may have only received a few posters in total. Most of our items are obtained from film premieres, studios, and from autographed hounds such as the one in the story below:

       

I'm not ashamed to admit it: I have the hots for Jake Shears. I can't help it, my queer butt just finds him so cute. And so hot. And so sexy! Ugh! I just wish he was my boyfriend and we'd do all kinds of crazy stuff together. But, I'll just settle for having met him once instead. 

Yes, fellow gays! I had the fortune of having met him in my hometown of New York City. Of course, this is where the hottest artists go and present their music to the world. Recently, that's what he did. He went on a late-night talk show and talked a little bit about his latest album. He even mentioned something about his sex life which, not gonna lie, got me hot and bothered! Ugh, be mine Jake Shears!! 

Anyways, I was there hoping to get some of my posters signed. But would you believe my luck? Because I took too many selfies at the studio with my bestie, I missed him going out of the stage door. It was one of many instances my vanity got me to miss something or someone important. I got so pissed off that I decided to go home and take the night in. I booked an Uber and cried to myself during the ride home. 

Thank God, however, my bestie wasn't having it. Once we got out of the car, she dragged me straight to the nearby bar to have some fun. I knew she just wanted me there as an escape route if her Tinder date wasn't going well. Still, she went to the late-night talk show taping for me, I went to the bar for her. And after a couple of minutes, who shows up at the same bar? Jake Shears, of course! Fortunately, I still had my posters with me at the time (I threw them away out of rage but my bestie got them back for me!) so I approached him and asked him to sign it. And you know what? He did! 

I swear, I screamed like I was the gayest kid in the room (which I probably was at that point). He then offered a selfie and you know yours truly accepted it. At that moment, I was the happiest queen in New York! Well, so was my bestie, who was having a great time with her unexpectedly hotter-than-his-profile-images Tinder date. 

 

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